I struggled with today’s practice. Usually practices that focus on heart openers are my among my favourites, but today I felt like my body and mind were really resisting my attempts to stay focused and present. Physical resistance was popping up in places where I’d never really felt it before, for example in my legs in the high lunge twist and my lower back in Camel. The first time in the latter pose I actually felt a bit light-headed, despite working into it in stages, and had to retreat to Child’s Pose for a few moments. I was also finding it particularly difficult to quiet the incessant chatter in my mind, and beyond that there were a couple of moments where I just felt like I wanted to stop and to close up rather than open as the practice encouraged.
I have no clear idea as to why I felt like this today. Reading back over the accompanying email, the opening two paragraphs really caught my eye:
“On Day 28 we open our hearts and continue to combine asana, breath and intention to heal energetic imbalances and raise our consciousness.
When the body is stressed things begin to work in overdrive and then shut down. So cultivating a practice that eliminates that stress energy is vital for living healthy and happy.”
Now I don’t know about energetic imbalances, and refer back to yesterday’s post and the point about doing some more research and experimentation on that front. What I do know, however, is that my body is pretty much permanently stressed and to a certain extent I probably live off stress energy. I’m not the most pro-change person (I tend to hold on to the familiar, even if it’s not serving me and indeed is actively doing me a disservice), so a practice that is focused on removing something that has become so familiar is bound to lead to some resistance. That’s just a thought, anyway. It might well be nonsense.
At the end of the practice, I took some extra time on the mat and tried to focus on the mantra that Adriene had suggested:
I’m glad I did, as I feel like it helped me to take in the practice, acknowledge the difficulties I’d had and start to try to learn from them.
Finally, I saw this today, outside one of my local cinemas, which seemed appropriate for the focus of today’s practice:
If I wasn’t a sceptic at heart, I’d say that the universe was trying to remind me to give the proper attention to the things that need it.