So, the final two days of YWA’s Revolution. Thoughts on the 31 days as a whole below, but first day 30’s practice, the focus of which was cultivating a relationship with our intuition and inner teacher. Although I might not be quite onboard with things like chakras yet, intuition is something that I can 100% get behind. I’ve always had pretty strong instinctive and intuitive reactions, and I don’t generally have a problem identifying what it is that my intuition is telling me. The issue I have is not listening to my gut, but following through on what my gut is telling me. I tend to overanalyse everything, sometimes to the point of ridiculousness. Even though I may know, deep down, the correct answer or action I question it, then question it again, and worry about how other people will view my decision and whether it’ll annoy or inconvenience them in some way. For me, developing the relationship with that inner teacher is really about having the courage and confidence to act on what I know it’s telling me.
My worries about following my intuition are mostly founded in what I think other people’s reactions will be. Yoga turns the focus inwards, not in a self-absorbed way, but in a way that acknowledges that our relationship with others and the outside world is only ever really as good as our relationship with ourselves. To improve the former relationships, we need to improve the latter. If we’re not following what we intuitively know to be right then we aren’t being truthful and honest with ourselves, so there’s only so far we can go in being truthful and honest with the world. Going forward, this is something that I want to pay particular attention to, as it can get seriously exhausting questioning and re-questioning every potential decision, especially when that questioning involves resisting what I intuitively know is the right course.
I have to admit that writing this I can’t remember too much about day 30’s physical practice apart from a rather wobbly toe balance… which might well be due to the brilliance of day 31. Time for another admission – when doing YWA’s Yoga Camp and 30 Days of Yoga, I skipped the last day, which is essentially a self-practice with no vocal guidance from Adriene. I just felt that it wasn’t something I’d be able to do. It says a lot about Revolution, and I think my attitude towards it, that this time around the final day was one of my absolute favourites. I was able to listen to what my body needed and although my mind did wander, as there was no guidance to focus on, there were moments were I was able to just be present and move with my breath, and those moments felt amazing. There were frustrations as well, particularly Dancer’s Pose (I swear my right side is becoming less rather than more balanced), and yes they broke my flow, and yes I got annoyed. I just stopped, returned to Mountain, deepened and focused on my breath, and carried on. That, my friends, is definitely a step forward.
Revolution has absolutely laid the ground work for some pretty fundamental changes in my attitude and approach to various aspects of my life. On a day to day basis I’ve noticed little things, for example I breathe more slowly and deeply, and have had significantly fewer moments of real anxiety. I feel that new connections are beginning to be made between my mind and my body which make me feel calmer in my own skin. It hasn’t been a magic pill, of course, but then would I really want it to be? After all, the journey is the reward.
Now to move forward. I’m going to take a couple more days to think about where I want to go next, rather than immediately jumping in to another programme, as if I did that I’d probably regret it. In the meantime, I’ll be back on the mat tomorrow trying to bring together everything I’ve learned from Revolution. I’m sure I won’t remember everything, but as long as I can remember “be present”, then I should be OK!